I think I need to reiterate how much I despise the Army. Not the Army itself but the bureaucracy of it all. They literally make me sick.
Brandon is supposed to be coming home (see this post) in around a month, for good, right? Well, I guess now there are a bunch of rumors that they are getting deployed and who knows what else. He told me this last night and I just bawled. I can’t DO THIS anymore.
I can’t prepare myself for one thing and then have them turn around and completely change everything. Its like riding a roller coaster. I feel like I’m bipolar. One day I’m happy as can be and the next, I’m depressed.
I don’t know how much more I can take of it. I really don’t. I can take being away from him, just barely, but I can do it because I know he’s coming home to me one day. I just can’t take the heartbreak every time they get me excited about something and then rip it away from me. I feel like they are taunting me.
I’ve gained 10-15 pounds since we’ve been together and I think its all due to the stress of this life I’m living now. I’ve tried to lose the weight by eating healthier and exercising but I’ve seen little results.
I drink zero pop, only water and juice, almost no junk food (c’mon everyone needs some chocolate or sugar once in a while) and still nothing. Its not very encouraging.
I can definitely see why some military people just go crazy one day and snap. I’m almost to that point. And as much as I’m complaining right now,
I would never even dream of getting out of the relationship because we’re so happy together. He is my world, my everything and a part of me would die without him in my life at all.
So what is the point of this rant, blowing off steam, I suppose. If anyone can relate at all, please comment! Let off some steam, vent to me, I’m listening!